Australian tennis star Nick Kyrgios has opened up about his mental health struggles and why he refused to to take anti-depression medication after it was prescribed for him.
The talented 28 year-old, who announced his withdrawal from Wimbledon on Sunday evening by pulling out less than 24 hours before his first match was due to begin, has had a history of depressive episodes.
At just 18, the controversial player became one of Australia’s most well-known tennis stars, but has since described how the sport drove him close to a dark place while he was relentlessly pursued by disapproving fans and commentators.
Last month Kyrgios revealed he was admitted to a psychiatric ward in London with suicidal thoughts after Wimbledon in 2019.
The Australian lost in four sets to Rafael Nadal in the second round at Wimbledon and admitted he was ‘contemplating if I wanted to commit suicide’.
Nick Kyrgios has opened up about his mental health struggles, which led to suicidal thoughts
Kyrgios wore wore a white sleeve on his arm to conceal evidence of self-harm when he played at Wimbledon in 2019
Kyrgios lost 3-6, 6-3, 6-7, 6-7 to Nadal and wore a long white sleeve on his right arm to conceal evidence that he had been self-harming.
In a recent interview with Alastair Campbell for Men’s Health, Kyrgios says his depression is still affecting him, but he has found better methods to deal with it.
‘If I’m feeling down or not motivated, I’m able to step back and analyse it,’ he said.
‘The biggest thing now is to ask myself, ‘How do I deal with the way I am feeling?’ I have much better habits now; I’m growing up, maturing. I feel I deal with it better.’
When asked if he has ever taken medication for depression, he answered: ‘No. I’ve had it prescribed, been told to take it, but I never did. I felt there were other ways that I could deal with my problems.’
The Aussie then went on to explain how he was feeling during his lowest moments in 2019 when he was self-harming and abusing alcohol.
‘I was numb. I was running on autopilot every day. I was pushing away family, friends and relationships. My career was on autopilot. I was doing things because I was told to do them,’ he said.
‘I literally couldn’t feel anything at all. The only time I felt anything was when I was doing those things [self-harm, cutting or burning] or when I was drinking. That’s when I felt okay, and that’s concerning.’
The Aussie star says he deals with his mental health issues better these days
Kyrgios says he loves the culture of basketball and believes he could have been a pro somewhere in the world if he didn’t play tennis
‘I was playing in tournaments, thousands of people watching me, and I didn’t feel anything. Most people would feel great being able to do that. I felt terrible.’
Later in the conversation, Kyrgios brought up his love of basketball and how he believes he could have made it as a pro ‘somewhere in the world’.
‘I love team sports,’ said Kyrgios.
‘I love the culture around the sport, what they wear, how they’re allowed to show their personalities more than they are, say, in tennis.
‘You see who they are. The whole sneakers thing, the closeness to fans, it feels more connected.’
When asked if that was because tennis was still quite class-bound, Kyrgios agreed.
‘It is. Tennis and I haven’t always agreed. My goal was to bring other fans around the world into tennis.’ he said.
‘I think a lot of people in tennis want to keep the same people. But you look at other sports, in the US, the UK, they are growing their base.’
‘I’m not sure tennis can say the same. We need to explain better, get more people in.’
If you need help, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or or Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636
