SIMON Cowell has revealed his secret battle with mental health during the coronavirus pandemic.
The music mogul has spoken for the first time about the troubles that drove him to therapy in his 60s.
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He now says he wished he’d sought help two decades ago – crediting its “super positive effect” on his life.
It’s even made him ban staff from telling him the ratings of his biggest shows – including Britain’s Got Talent.
It was in a bid to stop him from judging himself based on the success of his TV empire.
Simon, 63, told the Mirror: “I’ve suffered from depression over the years, but that was just something I just thought, ‘well, that’s my character trait. I get down,’ and it’s something you deal with.
“And then I suppose covid was the real catalyst.”
Simon was living in his Los Angeles mansion with his fiance Lauren Silverman and their son Eric, nine.
He began to feel paranoid about catching coronavirus – and says he tested himself “more than 1,000 times”.
“In the very, very, very early stages, some friends of mine got really ill and I’m talking about really ill”, said Simon.
”So, I thought, ‘God, if I catch this, maybe the same thing’s going to happen to me, Eric and Lauren.
“I didn’t know what was true or not [on the news], I just didn’t have a clue other than I was petrified about catching it. Just petrified.”
As the world began to return to normal, Simon set about focusing on his mental health, “like going to the gym for my brain”, he added.
He had already transformed his lifestyle after switching to a vegan diet, which made him lose an incredible amount of weight.
After embarking on quest for better mental health, Simon had a lightbulb moment when his therapist pointed out he was judging himself on his TV ratings.
The next day he emailed his staff, telling them he no longer wanted to be told how many millions of people had watched his shows.
He now says therapy has become a way of life.
Simon added: “We’re not all made of steel and there’s going to be times in our lives where you just need somebody to talk to.”
