Mental health: ‘Photography saved me from myself’

Caution: Has motifs of self-destruction

5 years ago Steve Liddiard’s psychological health and wellness had actually weakened to the factor where he was self-destructive and also really felt “bricked up” inside his very own mind.

When his general practitioner suggested him to use up strolling he made a decision to take a video camera – unbeknown to him, that was to be the beginning of his healing.

” Digital photography conserved me from myself,” claimed Steve, 36.

The father-of-two from Swansea started experiencing stress and anxiety in his very early 20s however it capped in his very early 30s.

“[I was] stabilizing attempting to be an excellent daddy, attempting to advance job sensible, fretting about cash and also costs and afterwards I had some significant family members problems which pressed me over the leading and also I really felt as if there was no other way to get over whatever,” claimed Steve, that stays in Swansea.

” You are your very own worst adversary, questioning ideas, really feeling breathless and also the consistent fretting.”

Steve came to be clinically depressed, battled to leave your house, came to be far-off from friends and family and also place on a front at the office.

” Inside I was collapsing away,” he claimed.

At his floor he tried to take his very own life.

” It’s difficult and also humiliating already to confess that,” he claimed.

” I really feel self-seeking that my activities might have had a significant effect on others, youngsters maturing without a papa, a companion to sustain them alone, however because minute it’s practically like you remain in thick haze and also one-track mind takes control of, you feel it’s the only means to quit the ideas.

” Back then, I believed this was the only escape.”

” Seeing the response from my family members, I required some aid,” he claimed.

His mom and also his companion of 14 years urged him to act.

” Possibly if they really did not I would not still be below today,” confessed Steve.

He visited his general practitioner, where he was offered medicine and also recommendations on methods to deal.

” Among the treatments I was suggested to attempt was going with strolls alone, whether it be a coastline, hills, simply a retreat and also clear my mind,” he claimed.

For his very first stroll he went to Whiteford Sands, a substantial stretch of coastline on the Gower Peninsula.

He left to the lighthouse.

” The lighthouse is put on, damaged and also wounded however still standing high – I really felt a link to exactly how I was really feeling back then,” claimed Steve.

” I took some images on my cam phone, shared them on the internet and also had favorable comments.”

After That, whenever he was out strolling he would certainly take images.

He at some point purchased a video camera, devices and also drones.

” Digital photography I discover is practically like reflection, you are concentrating on your topic, changing for light, clearness, framework, you area out entirely, it was the excellent solution for me,” claimed Steve.

Considering that his very first shot of the old lighthouse, Steve has actually located an interest for photographing deserted and also run-down manors, failed to remember churches and also commercial structures that have actually been left to contemporary innovation.

” Anything that has a background behind it,” he claimed.

” I discover it interesting to see these locations. I feel it is essential to record them prior to they collapse away.”

Steve’s digital photography continues to be a pastime – he operates in the IT division at Swansea’s Morriston Medical facility.

None-the-less, his job has actually gotten vital honor.

In 2021 he was called Historic Professional photographer of the Year for a picture of his favorite Whiteford Lighthouse.

The list below year he won the exact same honor once more, this moment for his picture of an obsolete Welsh woollen mill, with “the lively colours of the woollen still resting on the pins, with nature expanding throughout”.

Nowadays, Steve states he is “actually excellent”.

” Points in life obviously anxiety all of us out however I have methods of dealing currently,” he claimed.

” I do not allow points suppress.”

He claimed his companion Briony had actually observed a massive distinction in him.

Steve heads out to take images early in the early morning or late during the night so he can invest as much time as feasible with her and also their 2 youngsters, aged 9 and also 10.

” I would certainly enjoy in the future to see among my images hanging up in their very own houses,” he claimed.

He prompted any individual fighting with their psychological health and wellness to speak with a person.

” Whether it’s family and friends initially. No concern is as well large, every person battles it’s simply some battle greater than others. It’s not an indication of weak point, it suggests toughness to speak up,” he claimed.

Steve claimed he was influenced by a quote by Bryce Evans, an additional digital photographer that states getting a video camera conserved his life.

” If you discover on your own embeded the darkness, the very first point to do is discover and also begin catching the light.”

If you have actually been impacted by problems elevated in this tale you can discover information of where you can obtain assistance at BBC Activity Line